what do i want?

its a tough question.

what do i want?

i don’t know. i couldn’t figured it out. i have no idea.

i could have a heart attack if someone questioning me with this question.

i don’t know;

i don’t want to be an architect, well, i can’t be a good architect. i don’t think i’m a good one.

i try to run.

but then; what if i were meant to be one?

thats why god sent me to that school, that’s why god easily have me graduated from that school.

but then again; why don’t i feel connected to this field?

these days; i have my hard time. believe me. i confused all the time. i wake up with weird feeling everymorning. what do i want? what do i want?

how do you guys figure what you want in your life? the passion of your life?

is it too late to not know what i want my life? please; dear god; i need you.

the2010resolutions

well, when i wrote thanks2009, i couldnt remember one of my resolutions because i didn’t write it down. so here, i make lists, things i hope i could do, i could be, i could get.

Health.

#1 run, once everyday while i don’t have jobs yet. or at least twice a week, when i have job later.

#2 more vegetables. less . . . (no way; no less hahaha)

#3 no more alcohol. more water.

#4 lost 5-7 more kilos.

Religy

#1 pray 5 times a day.

#2 not doing unnecessary thing or try or even think.

#3 remember more surat-surat pendek

Jobs/work/...

#1 get a job related to things i love. or if it’s not, please be something i am really good at.

#2 having fashion, make-up and cooking courses. when i have time, lets add interior and thats computer thingy courses. is there writing courses too?

#3 do not get fired.

#4 help my mom, my dad, build one family bussiness.

#5 studying bussiness and management.

#6 get my JRP things done.

#7 more cooking. at least once a week, or at least 5 recipes in a month.

#8 important : studying more english (in speaking and writing) also take another foreign language. take courses!

relationship

#1 just please, be good. 4th years on april.

Life

#1 meet my bestfriends from high school to college at least once in every months.

#2 meet new people.

#3 try something new minimum 10 things. like new places to hang out, new way to spend a day, new city to been for, new homemade dress, etc.

#4 more alms. more caring. more love.

#5 more saying alhamdullilah in everythings that happened in life. more grateful.

#6 stop being a whining bitch.

Fancy things

#1 ipod touch.

#2 holiday with siblings in bali lombok.

#3 holiday with bestfriends in ...(you guys named one place)

#4 holiday with boyfriend’s family in bali

#5 new car.

#6 new TV

#7 new video games.

ha! too much fancy things i really want, when the fact is i haven’t earned my own money yet. well, i have to figure it out then, how to get all of those fancy things. so people;please keep telling me to be in track. so long, and keep fighting! :)

ps. i have wasted 4 days of my 2010 for nothing.

#thanks2009, and welcome 2010

i know; its a little bit late to say thanks to 2009 because its already the 4th day of 2010. however. thankyou 2009. i didn't remember my resolutions for 2009, in fact, i didn't remember if i make one. so, i don't know if i was succeded or not last year, i just want to thank you 2009.

here's somethings i want to thank you;

#1 thank you for every breath i take.

#2 thank you for family who always around

#3 thank you for Bachelor Arc.

#4 thank you for very good best friends.

#5 thank you for good relationship

#6 thank you for first real project architecture

#7 thank you for every job interview chances

#8 thank you for every new life experiences

and more.

BIG THANKS

and HAPPY NEW YEAR. :)

the-new-blog

i'm writing another blog. about food. about cooking.

and the important thing is this blog has nothing related to architecture.

http://iheartfoods.blogspot.com/

i always love december

what i love about december ;

#1 everywhere i go, plays christmas songs. don’t judge. i just love. i love listen to every version of “silent night”. i love mariah carey christmast song “all i want for christmas is you” and i love the decoration! i always wish i have chances to see white christmas. well, it’s nothing related to my believe okay. i just adore.

#2 usually, it’s raining on december, so yeah you know how that weather could make us feel. from morning breeze to freezing night. all you want to do is never go out of bed. hahaha.

#3 happy sale everyone. year-end sale is everywhere.

#4 the holiday of semester! okay, i’m not longer a student so i won’t be able to have it, but, admit it. this is the month of holiday! yay! i always can feel it from the 1st of december.

#5 they said, sagitarius is a great people. so happy birthday to all of people whose birthday on december. my dad, my boyfriend's mom. and bestfriend, eci.

from five reasons, i just believe, december is the time we should look again to the months before. because, it is the last month of the year. so, we should look up, how good we’ve come so far. december is the time we rearrange ourself, be grateful, and prepare for january. and that’s why i want to be married on december, i love this month.

happy holiday, you!

picture by : Angem.deviantart.com

ps. happy holiday especially for laras, mitok, sil, meilani, shasa, wiwid, westhi, mithul, nina, roro, farah, and everyone who takes ar4099 a.k.a final project that stated graduate today. today your life is about to change. oh i’m so dead, my friends officially graduated, but i’m still unemployeed. hahaha.